Ok, yeah that cartoon may be a bit dramatic, but let me tell you, this breathing/yoga issue HAS been drama filled. Thankfully, I just found out tonite I"m not the only one embroiled in the drama.
Where to start....
Well, first off, I take a lot of yoga. A lot. Pretty much every day these days. I know that sounds valiant but really I'm addicted to this form of yoga that's all about relaxation at the moment. Not so much about strengthening or conditioning but releasing. An interesting side effect of it though is that I'm getting incredibly flexible in a short period of time which is somehow making me feel stronger and with more stamina in my dance classes..woohoo!
But I digress...
Back to yoga classes (called Restorative or Yin by the way).
Last week one day this great instructor Michelle, set an intention for the class which was to focus on finding our internal silence as a way to deal with all the intrusions of noise in our day to day lives. A good focus.
Anyway, I became aware quickly that an older woman was in class who'd been there the night before and demonstrated an unusual style of breathing which I found quite distracting. Ok I'll just say it, it's downright annoying to the point of fingernails on a chalkboard. And that's even putting it mildly too.
Oh..greaaaatttt...here I am supposed to be finding my internal silence and right next to me is this lady who's taking these deep breaths, holding her breath for a few seconds, then releasing this loud, audible, forced, stressed sounding exhale. Like the kind of sound one makes when lifting something heavy then letting it go. Or maybe a woman pushing a baby through a birth canal. Ok, that's a bit extreme but you get my drift.
Not just occasionally, mind you, but every. single. flippin. breath. Like a macabre metronome loudly punctuating itself over and over throughout this "relaxing" class. Of course the more I tried not to focus on it, the more it became the ONLY thing I could focus on. I felt like I was gonna lose my mind. I was actually having seriously unkind (to put it mildly) thoughts about this woman! I nearly left the class over it! It was intense.
After class, I called my male friend and vented the whole thing to him. He's so awesome and didn't make me feel more insane for going nuts over a woman's breathing style in yoga. He told me something about how women process sound differently than men do so it made perfect sense that I would react like that (yeah, he's a brainiac and knows interesting trivia like that). He let me go on and on about it and even the next day asked me "was your breathing lady there?" after I went to class. (awwww...yes a man who not only pays attention but cares...what a find). Luckily I had a respite from her...that day.
Which brings me to today. Class was HUGE today. The 3:30 Sunday Yin class for some reason is super popular and I could barely find a spot. But, lo and behold, there she was. The breather. Ugh.
Luckily my mat was all the way across from her and I just decided to do my best to keep working on tuning out external sounds and "find my internal silence". (oh brother)
So of course she started up immediately. The entire room of over 20 people are in silence except the instructor and the quiet hum of the ceiling fans. Not even music. But there she is with her loud inhalations, holding her breath, then the explosive , exaggerated, beyond annoying power-sigh. Ugh ugh ugh! It grasped me again....arrrgh! How does she not know she's the ONLY person the room breathing this way..so loudly, in a room of silence! My mind was racing, wondering if a person at, say, a play like I was last night where they tell you to open your hard candy BEFORE the performance, spent the entire time gasping like that over and over...they would get kicked out of the audience! I know that's a stretch and people should be able to breathe *however* in yoga but this was over the top!
Until.....I saw it. Across the room, I heard a stir. I looked over and this gal had pulled herself out of the reclining posture to sitting with her head in her hand. She was shaking her head from side to side in frustration. I knew EXACTLY what she was reacting to the instant I saw her. She looked two people over to TBL (The Breathing Lady) with a look of pure disgust on her face. Eureka! I had a comrade! I watched her try to lay back down, sit back up again, turn her head sharply in the direction of TBL, shake her head, basically demonstrate all my own frustration of the last two assaults on my audio senses in front of my own eyes. I was simultaneously frustrated myself and relieved that I was not alone, not over reacting to this.
After about 10 min. now I was somewhat obsessed with this gal and her reactions and was not surprised when she tapped her friend on the leg, had reached her limit, grabbed up her things and quietly left the studio. I knew exactly why she was leaving. I had walked up to that same precipice myself. If I wasn't all the way across the room from the door, I might have followed her out to lend some support or really gather some for myself.
Class ensued. TBL continued her freakish respirations. I did my best to keep turning my focus inward and not be stressed out in the one place in my life I go to diminish my stress while also trying not to resent the fact that I even have this struggle in this venue...until....
Toward the end of the class I see the instructor Michelle lean down and give some kind of instruction to TBL and guess what? She stopped gasping! Finally! An intervention! Hope! Halleluiah!
After class, I walk past and see a somewhat passionate conversation happening with this lady and Michelle. Words about "being more gentle" and something about "falling asleep". I didn't linger nor did I care really as it seemed it was at least getting addressed.
As I gathered my shoes, another student gestured toward them then said to me "I feel so bad". I inquired "for what?" and she told me she had called over Michelle during the class to complain about TBL! That she was right near her, that she knew those gals had left over it, that she was "going insane" throughout class and when Michelle was giving us cues about "kind thoughts" she was consumed with homicidal thoughts toward this woman! Another Eureka moment! Another comrade! Thank God! We walked outside and introduced ourselves and I shared with her how I'd felt tortured for two other classes before and had decided to say something to Michelle today after class but then against it as it appeared it was getting addressed. My new friend Rhonda still begged me to share my feelings with her so she'd feel less alone with her complaint so I promised her I would next time I saw her. Ya know we women, we are often not so comfortable with "complaining" much less "confrontation".
Let's hope either TBL gets so offended by the admonishment and finds a new yoga studio to gasp in or accepts the feedback and finds a way to fit in...quietly...ceasing from being the yoga terrorist she'd become.
So we can all find our internal silence again...without the thoughts of wanting to strangle someone's windpipe to get there.
Michelle did my "smoky eyes" makeup
Absolut Citron had these little scarves all over the party so we grabbed some accesories--Sandra Dee/Grace Kelly (hey, it was hot in there!)
This "bed" was at the entrance to the hotel..we HAD to get some shots on it.
Bodhi, our personal rickshaw driver
Michelle, lounging in front of the huge flat screen TV in our room
The view from our room
